Showing posts with label hex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hex. Show all posts

Thursday, February 25, 2010

the mayhem of misguided romance

Reccing Notes: I journeyed to the pit again, and I found this. Shining Friendship writes some multi-character fic and in this the character voices are quite spot on. I like it when Lois's relationship with Chloe isn't ignored. In Committed she was quite opinionated about Chloe's relationship with Jimmy and wants to make sure she's with the right guy... hence, the grilling.

Chloe and Davis's relationship is dealt with through dialogue between Lois and Davis right at the time of Hex. Why was Davis staying away from Chloe anyway?

by shining friendship at fanfiction.net
2362 words, pg, hex

Lois Lane was walking through the crowded halls of Metropolis General Hospital, doing her best not to bump into the busy nurses and sick patients, and get back to her car before the vein in her forehead popped. Today had not been not her day. After arriving to the Daily Planet late, getting chewed out by her editor for her third tardy that month, and forgetting about her lunch plans with Jimmy, the day would, of course, only get worse when she cut her hand open after falling down on the sidewalk, losing her lunch in the process.

Thankfully, her editor let her have the rest of the day off when he heard about her spill and told her "to get it together" before she came back to work on Monday. She had almost reached the automatic entrance/exit door of the hospital when she spotted Davis going the same direction. The broodingly handsome and charming paramedic was dressed in his usual dark-and-light blue uniform, a red-orange bag full of medical equipment and supplies slung over his shoulder. Lois wasn't all that surprised to find her cousin's friend—or whatever the guy was to Chloe nowadays—working, but she was, however, surprised that he didn't come to Chloe's birthday party at the Ace of Clubs the week before.

"Hey, Dimples!" Lois called out to him, hoping he'd hear her over all the hospital busyness going on.

Davis, as well as several other people, looked around and stared at the Daily Planet reporter, making Lois feel slightly self-conscious and stupid for yelling at the paramedic to get his attention, instead of chasing him down. Once the small crowd staring at her figured out the brunette was talking to Davis, they continued on with what they were doing before and he walked up to her, confused and quite surprised to see her at Met General.

"Hey, Lois. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working on a story that should shut this crackpot hospital down for good."

"What?" Davis gaped at her. "Why would you—?"

Lois laughed. "Relax. It was a joke. I just came to get my hand sutured after I slipped and fell on the sidewalk earlier."

She showed her left hand to the paramedic, who quickly examined it and then he looked back up at her again.

"Looks like the doc who fixed you up did a good job. Did he tell you to keep them clean and dry and to go see your doctor to have them removed in about one week?"

"Don't worry, Dimples, I got the whole ER information download. Plus, one of the nurses gave me this lame instruction guide to follow in case something happens to it."

"Read it anyway," he instructed her, knowing she'd probably throw it in the trash as soon as she gets home.

"Missed you at Chloe's birthday party last week."

Like he had been put on ice, Lois immediately noticed Davis' body stiffen up and face grow pale—paler than usual—at the mention of Chloe's name. As the "other man" in her cousin's life, the brunette was a little surprised to see the EMT react that way, especially when Chloe and Jimmy, who were currently not on speaking terms, had been broken up for a couple of weeks now. Lois thought that with Jimmy removing himself from the equation, she figured Davis would be tossing his ring into the mix the second he heard her cousin was technically a free agent again.

"I wanted to give her some space," he finally opened up, barely looking at her as he said the words. "I didn't think it would be a good idea to show up after everything Chloe's been through with Jimmy these past few weeks."

"Look, I don't know what the current deal is between you and Chloe, but I do know that she can use all the support she can get from her friends right now."

"I couldn't go, Lois," Davis put his foot down, then quickly realized his answer sounded a tad bit rude and forceful, so he quickly calmed back down. "I didn't think it was right for me to go after Jimmy blew up at Chloe for taking my side over his when he accused me of being a serial killer and left her. They clearly have a lot of things they need to work out, and me standing there in the corner isn't going to make things any easier on them."

"Is that because you still have feelings for her?"

The paramedic was thrown into utter shock upon hearing Lois say she knew about his feelings for Chloe, but he maintained his cool on the surface and tried to act nonchalant. "Where did you get the idea that I—?"

"Chloe told me about your little run-in the week before her wedding," she smiled smugly at him. "I gotta admit you never struck me as the kind of guy who would resort to soap opera theatrics to win a girl's heart, but I guess that just means there's more to Davis Bloome than meets the eye, huh?"

"She told you about the kiss?"

"We're cousins, Davis. We do talk to each other from time to time."

"What—What else did she say about me?"

Lois couldn't help but smirk at the handsome paramedic. She would never admit it to him, but she immensely enjoyed seeing this vulnerable, shy side of him. "Why don't we continue this charade over a cup of coffee? When does your shift end?"

"I'm actually on my lunch break right now, but don't you have to get back to work?"

She rolled her eyes at him before replying, "I got the rest of the day off after my editor heard about my runway incident."

"All right, then let's go to the cafeteria and get some coffee."

"Lead the way."

"I'm a little disappointed in myself for not picking up on your strategy sooner," Lois said to Davis while stirring the cream and three packets of sugar into her coffee.

"What strategy?" he eyed her, having no idea what she was talking about.

"To win Chloe over, of course. By staying away and keeping distance between you, what you're really doing is hoping she'll eventually come seeking your open arms and forget all about Jimmy. It's a subtle but very effective strategy, if you ask me."

"Lois, I don't know where you come up with this stuff, but that's not what I'm doing. I'm not doing anything."

"So even though Jimmy's dead set against getting back together with Chloe and they'll probably end up getting divorced, you're just gonna throw in the towel and forget all about her?"

"Hey, that's not what I—"

"Then it's true," she smiled at him in triumph. "You do love her."

"Of course I do," he sighed, being straight with the bossy Daily Planet reporter. "You've obviously known that for weeks."

"Yes, I have," she replied before taking a sip of her weak coffee.

"So why aren't you more upset with me? I thought since Jimmy is your cousin's husband, you'd be using your combative skills to convince him to work things out with Chloe."

"I probably would've been the go-between and played matchmaker if this sort of thing had happened a year ago, but I can't do that now."

"Why not?" Davis eyed her suspiciously.

"Because Jimmy wasn't the man my cousin kept thinking about on her wedding day."

Mouth partially open, he looked over at Lois and waited for her to say more and clarify what she was trying to tell him.

"You were."

"What do you mean, I was the guy she kept thinking about that day? Are you talking about all the phone calls I made to her before the wedding?"

"I think the statement speaks for itself, don't you?"

Davis looked away from the noisy reporter with an eye roll in annoyance, leaned back into his chair and said nothing.

"Hey, before you go and tune me out, maybe you should listen to what I have to say, Dimples."

"And what would that be?" he asked, looking at her from across the small, circular table again.

"Just try and remember that it doesn't matter what our blushing bride told me, it's how she was acting that's important."


--
"My God," Lois sighed happily, as she finished climbing up the stairs to Clark's loft and saw Chloe staring at herself in her beautiful white wedding gown. The bride turned around and grinned at her cousin while they walked towards one another. "I have too much to do to start crying, but you look breathtaking."

"If it wasn't for you," the blonde said, taking her hand, "I'd look more like the bride of Frankenstein than Cinderella. What you did to this barn is absolutely amazing, Lois."

The brunette wrapped her arms around her and the sisterly cousins hugged, until the sound of a ringing bell went off from Chloe's cell phone and they pulled away from each other. She frowned as her phone continued to ring and didn't move an inch from where she was standing.

"Gonna answer that?"

Brushing past her, Chloe walked over to where her cell was at, which was on top of a pile of Clark's old schoolbooks, picked up the phone and pressed the 'Ignore' button as soon as she saw that she was getting another call from Davis.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied without putting on her poker face and Lois stared at her harder, waiting for her to tell the truth. "It's Davis Bloome. He has been calling all day. You know, deep down I know he's a really great guy. I just think he's a little confused."

The brunette couldn't help but give her cousin a perplexed, what-do-you-mean look by her serious lack of details over what Davis was so "confused" about.

"Last week he kissed me, and he told me he wasn't going to let me marry the wrong guy."

Slightly surprised to hear this, Lois finally understood why Chloe had been on pins and needles ever since she got to the Kent Farm; it made perfect sense. "Are you starting to have feelings for tall, dark and scary?"

The blonde gave her older cousin a weak smile, exhaling through her nose and said softly, "All I want is to walk down that aisle and marry the man I love."

--


"The look on her face was evidence enough she was scared out of her mind that you were going to show up right in the middle of the 'I Dos' and ruin the whole wedding."

"I wanted to," Davis admitted for the first time out loud in a bitter tone, gripping onto his white Styrofoam cup of coffee tighter. "I told Chloe I wasn't ready to let her go after we kissed, and I wanted to stop the wedding because I knew it was a mistake for her to marry Jimmy, but... I couldn't. I knew if I had done that, she would've hated me for it."

"Well, not to point out the obvious here, but whatever closed door there was between you two before, it doesn't have to be closed anymore. Jimmy walked out on their holy state of matrimony, so you're free as a bird to tell Chloe how you really feel about her now."

"That doesn't mean their marriage is over, Lois. We both know they could still work things out and get back together."

"You're actually going to use every lame excuse in the book not to tell Chloe you love her, aren't you?" she shot at him, fuming over the fact that he was keeping a secret this big away from her cousin.

"First of all, I still don't understand why you're pressing me to tell her when Jimmy's your friend and you've known him a lot longer than you've known me. And second of all, do you really think now would be the best time for me to say something like that when Chloe's in so much pain over losing him?"

"I see your point," she settled down. "But that doesn't mean you can't spend time with Chloe and be her friend while she's trying to get over Jimmy."

"I don't know if I can do just yet," he spoke quietly, his eyes averting from hers.

"Why not? Why can't you be a shoulder for her to lean on?"

"Because I don't want to be just her friend," Davis almost yelled out, staring into her eyes. "Because every time I'm around Chloe now, I feel like I'm lying to her."

"That's because you are lying to her," she said without flinching.

"So what do I do? Just keep avoiding her? Pretend like nothing ever happened between us, hope she'll eventually feel the same way about me, and then maybe we'll live happily ever after together someday?"

"Only you can answer those questions, Davis," Lois said, as she was preparing to leave by getting up from their table with her large, brown leather purse slung over her right shoulder. "Besides, you already know how I feel about the situation. But as someone who's gotten their heart broken from the mayhem of misguided romance more than once, can I give you a few words of wisdom?"

Saying nothing in return, he wordlessly told her with his eyes to give him the advice.

"Don't wait too long to tell Chloe how you feel about her. She may need you to be just her friend right now, but sooner or later this whole 'Divorce Court' drama with Jimmy will settle down and you'll have to tell her how you feel, or you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life."

"Thanks, Lois," Davis said in appreciation with a half-smile. "You're a good friend."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? It's a curse."

"Right," he scoffed.

"I'll see you around," she nodded and turn her heels to leave the hospital cafeteria.

The paramedic watched her go, his brown eyes pinned on her until she made her way to the door. Then they traveled up to the square-shaped clock hanging above the entrance and saw that he had fifteen more minutes before he had to punch back in. Davis opened up the front right pocket of his EMT jacket and pulled out his silver cell phone. He pressed one of the numbers on his speed dial, pressed the green 'Talk' button, and held the phone to his ear. He waited for a couple seconds, listening to the call go through and almost smiled when he heard the word "Hello" from the person he was trying to get ahold of.

"Hey, Chloe, it's me."

Monday, December 21, 2009

beyond recognition

Reccing Notes: So some fics can be amazingly, blatantly romantic. others are more like a look across a crowded room. This is one. So amazing because it shows the sort of beautiful unfulfilled quality of this ship. and I requested it. hee.

by keeper of stars at squeeka quack
1184 words, pg, hex

It was as if he were unconsciously drawn to the very essence of her being no matter what form she was in.



“Order up! Coffee black with a sausage and egg croissant,” a harassed sounding voice barked out of the moving deli’s tiny window. It couldn’t have been more obvious that the barker hated his job. It laced his voice and was firmly etched into the many wrinkles that lined his face.

As he reached up to grab his breakfast, Davis Bloom stuck a dollar in the white Styrofoam cup labeled “TIPS,” understanding what it was like to wish you could do something or be something else. He’d always loved being a paramedic but not anymore; now it seemed like a waste of time when the thing inside of him wreaked so much havoc and destruction of its own.

He’d thought about quitting and taking himself away from people altogether, but he hadn’t been able to. Davis knew it would be safer for everyone, but he just couldn’t do it. He felt as if the more people he saved or helped, the more he was atoning for his sins. Deep down, he knew that there was nothing he could do to feel fully forgiven, but he strived for absolution anyway. He had to. Because if he didn’t, if he freed himself of all guilt and blame, there was no telling what would happen.

So he’d worked to keep the beast under submission, placating it with the murders of petty criminals and then confessing to a priest as he begged for forgiveness. It had become a weekly routine, one he’d performed the night before.

After he’d dropped the dollar in the cup, the man in the van didn’t say thank you. Instead, he grunted as he set the steaming cup of coffee and sandwich on the little counter in front of Davis.

No, the grumpy server didn’t thank him, but his low huff was enough. Davis recognized the sound as gratitude for the buck. It wasn’t much, but Davis knew that it helped to make his job slightly less unbearable.

And that too was something he understood all too well.

He had his bright spots, his own equivalent of a dollar tip. There was the satisfaction of knowing he’d made a difference, that he’d helped to save someone’s life. And that was a feeling like no other.

And then… there was Chloe.

The brightest spot of all.

She didn’t really make Davis’s job better; she made his entire existence better.

There was just this indefinable quality about her that he couldn’t even begin to explain. She was good and kind, not to mention beautiful. But more than that, she’d always been there for him and believed in him even when Davis didn’t believe in himself. He would always be grateful to her for that. And while these were adequate descriptions, they couldn’t truly compare to how he felt about her. The only way he could possibly sum it up was to say that he loved her. And even then, that wasn’t nearly enough.

He knew that she was happily married to Jimmy and that there was no way they could be together. The last time he’d seen her, which incidentally was the first time since the wedding, he’d told her he was fine, that he was moving on. Both, of course, were lies, and he couldn’t help but feel like she knew that. Chloe had smiled and tried to show him how happy she was to hear it, but it was in her eyes. They both knew he was lying.

And he could live with that.

Would have to live with that.

Was living with that.

When the man behind the counter let out a gruff, “Next!” Davis grabbed his coffee and sandwich and moved out of the way of the slew of construction workers who were lining up behind him.

Once he was finally away from all of the men in their hardhats and flannel, Davis began to strip the waxy paper off of his croissant. Sandwich in one hand, steaming hot coffee in the other, it should have been an impossible task. But after years of practice and an impatient stomach, Davis had gotten it down to an art.

Gripping the bottom of the pastry in one hand, Davis used his teeth to pull back the top corner of the paper. The crinkling of the wrapper filled his ears, mingling with the sounds of early morning in Metropolis, traffic and people rushing past him on the sidewalk stating out their workday on their cell phones. It was a symphony of sound he’d come to know and love.

Davis was halfway to his rig and an inch away from taking his first bits of egg, sausage, and bread when he came to a sudden, unexpected halt, causing a woman to walk right into him.

A few people stopped and stared, and one man even barked at him for stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. But Davis couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t bring himself to move.

As if someone had called his name, Davis looked across the street.

The croissant long forgotten, Davis’ deep brown eyes found Lois instantly. But even though it was her body, it wasn’t Lois he was watching walk towards the entrance of The Daily Planet.

No, it was Chloe.

Davis couldn’t think of any way to explain it, but it was her. He was sure of it.

There was a drive behind her hurried steps that he’d come to associate with the blonde. And her hair was styled in a way that he’d seen many times, but never once on Lois. And that was to say nothing of the outfit she was wearing which looked as if it were meant for someone with a much smaller bust and much shorter legs.

But even though he noticed those things, they weren’t what made Davis recognize the woman across the street as Chloe Sullivan.

Somehow, in his heart, he just knew. It was as if he were unconsciously drawn to the very essence of her being no matter what form she was in.

Davis wanted to drop his food and charge across the street to her. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders so that he could find Chloe in the depths of Lois’ eyes. But his feet wouldn’t let him. He was glued to his spot on the sidewalk, frozen. By what, he didn’t know.

Abandoning all hope of moving, Davis wanted to call out, to yell out the blonde’s name as loudly as he possibly could to see if ‘Lois” would turn to him. But when he was finally able to make his mouth work, all that came out was a softly whispered ‘Chloe.’

She didn’t stop and turn toward him because of some connection they shared. Chloe didn’t even seem to know that he was standing across the street seeing her even though her body wasn’t there. Instead she’d pushed her way into the mass of people trying to get into the Planet building. And Davis couldn’t blame her. As much as he believed she had feelings for him, he also understood that she was married.

But he still wished that she would turn and look at him.

His breakfast long forgotten, Davis stood and watched the revolving doors of The Daily Planet long after Chloe had disappeared into them.




Leave her comments y'all.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

when you wish upon a fishnet stocking

Reccing Notes: Her snark.is.the.best.ever. Also, don't tell me you didn't want to see this continuation to Hex. with Davis. and Willow references. Lets just say Zatanna's spell goes out of control. Everyone starts getting their wishes granted. Including Davis.
also, madmartrigan!

by seriousfic

2603 words, pg-13, hex

“I’m married to Davis Bloome and he wants to impregnate me!”


Chloe woke up, put on her slippers, and went to her mirror. Still Chloe. She’d never been so grateful for being a blonde. Even with her marriage in shambles, Brainiac was gone, Lex was gone, and things were finally back to as normal as they were liable to get.

Her iPhone rang.

Chloe sighed. Well, it had been nice while it lasted. “Hello?” she answered.

“Lois?”

“No, Chloe.”

“Oh, good, you switched back.”

“Zatanna!”

“Right in one! Just calling to say sorry again for swapping our your body.”

“That’s okay. It was actually a little fun. Construction workers whistled at me unironically.”

“Good for you. Hey, as long as I’ve got you on the line, have you noticed anything odd lately?”

“Like what?”

Davis walked by Chloe’s bedroom door, wearing nothing but a towel. On his shoulder. Chloe dropped the phone. “Hey honeybunches of oats, shower time. You in?”

Chloe mutely shook her head.

“Right, phone call. Left some bacon for you on the counter. Bon appetite.”
He walked off.

Chloe put the phone back to her ear. “Zatanna, there’s a naked man in my apartment.”

“Is he cute?”

“Not really my point.”

Chloe had to sit down. She was just noticing all the pictures of her and Davis together, and the bed big enough for two, and the handcuffs on her headboard. Which she really didn’t want to think about.

“Listen, it’s not my fault. I was working on a spell to increase my powers—“

“Increase your powers? You grant wishes!”

“But these would be big wishes, like world peace, an end to world hunger, a fourth season of Veronica Mars.”

“I did like that show.” Chloe noticed the wedding ring on her finger. It had a pretty big diamond. “So what went wrong?”

“It backfired! Went back and gave new wishes to everyone I… helped. You remember the man who wanted to speak dead languages?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s a Viking now.”

“Oh. Not in the Minnesota way, I suppose.”

“So, were you wishing for anything at 3AM last night?”

Davis stepped in front of her door again, wearing nothing but a towel—thankfully around his waist—and lots of moisture. “Want it while its clean?”

Chloe tried to hang onto the phone. “It’s a very important call.”

“Okay. But I hear it’s very hard to get pregnant without,” his eyebrows weaved up and down.

Chloe followed his eyebrows until a call on the house-phone pulled him away. She jammed the phone to her ear again. “We’re trying to get pregnant!”

“We are?” Zatanna asked.

“I’m married to Davis Bloome and he wants to impregnate me!”

“Is he cute?”

“That’s not the point!”

“That’s not a no.”

“Alright! He’s got a stomach like he’s smuggling paint rollers, are you happy?”

“I was looking for something more in the realm of penis. Is it bigger than a breadbox?”

“Will that help break the spell?”

“Oh, right, the spell. Listen, he’s under a love spell, so it would be unethical to,” Chloe pictured Zatanna’s eyebrows weaving up and down, “got it?”

“No yankee his wankee, got it.”

“Also, try to keep anyone else from making wishes. The magic is wild, there’s no telling what it could do. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Will you be riding a magical beast?”

“Greyhound.”

***

Chloe went to the Daily Planet, where an intern was waiting for her with coffee and a bagel. As this happened even when she wasn’t bewitched, Chloe wondered about the frequency of her trips to the Daily Planet. She didn’t correct the intern’s assumption that she was an employee, though. It was a damn good cup of joe.

“Clark! Did you make any wishes at 3 AM last night?”

Lois looked up from her workstation to the blonde standing between her and Clark. “What, is Zatanna back to her old tricks? What would that make you, Jimmy? In my cousin’s body?”

“No, I’m Chloe.”

Lois leaned past her to see Clark. “Then I suppose Lex is inside you!”

“No, he’s still Clark.”

“Then… who am I?”

“You’re Lois.”

“Oh, right, that explains the unironic whistling I’ve been getting from construction workers.”

Clark stood up. “To answer your question, Chloe, I was watching Wild Things and… no, that was at 2:30. Darn. Then T2 came on and I wished my best friend was alive to watch it with me.”

Lex walked up. Chloe squeaked and stomped on his foot.

“Chloe! I also wished he wasn’t evil!”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Lex hopped up and down on one foot. “You’re lucky I’m not evil.”

Chloe frantically marshaled her blonde power. “Listen, so long as you’re all here, I have to warn you not to wish for anything. Zatanna’s spell is out of control and there’s no telling what could happen.”

A man at the next desk over jumped up, shouting “I just won the lotto! A million bucks!”

“That could just as easily have been a billion boy-deers,” Chloe said defensively.

“Yes!” shouted a man at the next next desk over, “The state approved a new wildlife preserve! A million bucks, safe from toxic waste!”

“What’s so great about wildlife preserves?” Chloe asked.

“My penis is 15-inches long!”

“It’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it!” Chloe shouted back. “Lex, have you been wishing?!”

“What makes you say that, Miss Sullivan?”

“You didn’t have an afro before.”

“I’ll thank you to call her Sylvia.” Lex ran a hand through his perm. “My precious.”

***

By the time Zatanna arrived at the bus station, it was raining jelly beans and the front page of the Daily Planet was nude pictures of Christian Bale. She got off the bus to find Chloe and Lois waiting for her. “Good thing I made worrywoad one of the spell components, so no real harm can be done.”

“It’s raining jelly beans! They kinda sting!” Lois said. “I think one of them broke the skin.”

“Was it licorine?”

“Obviously.”

“Excuse me, I’m a little married over here!” Chloe said.

“Relax,” Zatanna said. “If I can take care of Barack Obama’s marriage, I can take care of yours.”

“But Obama is married.”

“Exactly. To a woman.” Zatanna winked.

***

Chloe walked into her apartment, Zatanna at her side. The magician thought it’d help her to reverse the wishes if she found the first one. They found Davis reclining on the bearskin rug in front of a raging fire, George Michael’s Careless Whisper playing on the stereo. He was wearing nothing but whipped cream.

“I don’t have a stereo,” Chloe said. “Or a bearskin rug. Or a fireplace. Or whipped cream anymore, I guess.”

“Chloe, thought you might come home early, wondered if you might like a snack.”

“Chloe, you cannot have sex with him,” Zatanna said.

“You can stay,” Davis said.

“Chloe, you have got to have sex with him.”

“Zatanna! How would you like it if Davis used a wish to make wild monkey love to you?” There was a long pause. “Don’t think about it! That’s my wish-husband you’re fantasizing about!”

“Wish?”

“It’s a long story,” Chloe said.

“Magic is real,” Zatanna said.

“So whatever I wish could come true. Hmm…” Davis rubbed his chin.

“Don’t even think it!”

“But I could bring about world peace! End world hunger! Bring back Veronica Mars for a fourth season!”

“My wishes aren’t powerful enough to do that,” Zatanna said.

“Oh,” Davis said, crestfallen. “Then I suppose I couldn’t wish myself into—“ Davis suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“Davis!” Chloe cried.

Davis stepped out of the smoke, wearing armor and holding a sword. “Who the hell is Davis? I am the greatest swordsman who ever lived.”

They stared at him in conusion.

“Madmartigan!”

They kept staring.

“From the 1988 hit Willow?”

“Didn’t that movie flop?” Zatanna asked.

Davis reached for his sword.

“But I hear it did great overseas.”

Chloe thought about the way Davis had looked at her that morning. It’d been so warm, loving, like she was the only other thing in the world to him. The polar opposite of the hurried glances Clark gave her before speeding off. No, it was like—how he always looked at her, minus the twitchiness that she guessed came from wanting her approval. Se realized with a treacherous blush that she missed that look, now that he was staring at her like a stranger. “Isn’t he supposed to be my wish-husband?”

“Hahaha!” Davis laughed, his helmet’s horsehair flying back. “All fair maidens dream of being wed to Madmartigan, but my heart is well-armored against all attacks.” He put his arm around Zatanna. “But… maybe with someone like you I could let down my guard and share my awful burden. It’s… it’s hard being the greatest swordsman in the world. Tough making friends.”

Zatanna threw glowing dust in his face.

”Davis!” Chloe yelled. “If you hurt him, I will heal the shit out of you!”

“Relax, it’s just a little love spell.”

Davis straightened, staring at Chloe. “An angel! Oh, spirits, let me be worthy of hearing your messenger’s name!”

Chloe gave Zatanna a look.

“You were complaining he didn’t love you anymore.”

“That was an observation, not an invitation to give him a spell roofie!”

“A spell?” Davis asked. “Yes, a spell to light the darkest corners of my soul with blessed light! Please, tell me your name, beauty of beauties! Don’t let me suffer in ignorance any longer!”

Chloe’s mouth was hanging open. No one had ever talked to her like that. Well, except for that time Clark had drunk-dialed Lana and gotten the wrong number. She probably shouldn’t have kept it on her voice-mail for so long. Or specifically erased the parts where he called her Lana.

“She’s Chloe,” Zatanna introduced.

“Yes, of course, that makes perfect sense! What else could my love be named? I love you, Chloe, I love everything about you! I love that blouse. Did you get it on sale?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Your savvy trickster’s mind arouses me like a minx!”

“Isn’t a minx a kind of animal?” Zatanna asked.

“Shut up, Zatanna,” Chloe said.

Davis looked deep into her eyes, taking hold of her arms in a classic clinch. “Chloe, I’m the greatest swordsman who ever lived.” He tapped his blade. “But this isn’t the sword.” He looked over at Zatanna to make sure she was keeping up. “The sword is my—“

A hatted shadow fell across them. “Let her go!”

Chloe looked up. It was a man, wearing a beat-up leather jacket and a similarly battered fedora.

“Olsen!” Davis spat.

“You can call me Dr. Olsen.” He tipped his hat to Chloe. “And you can call me Indy.”

“What’re you doing here?”

“That depends on how reasonable we’re all willing to be. All I want is the girl!”

“She’s more girl than a peck like you can handle!”

“Don’t call me a peck, I’m not short, I’m average!”

“The hat doesn’t count!”

“Says you!” Jimmy threw out his whip, catching a rafter, and swung down.

Davis stepped out of the way. Jimmy hit the wall.

“Peck!” Davis insulted. “Peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck!”

Jimmy got up, looking more Kingdom of the Crystal Skull than Raiders of the Lost Ark.

“Jimmy, seriously, what are you doing?” Chloe demanded.

“I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.”

Davis unsheathed his sword, twirling it in a series of expert flourishes.

Jimmy wearily drew his gun and shot Davis. The bullet ricocheted off his armor and hit Zatanna’s top hat.

“That does it!” Zatanna yelled. “You want to fight, you can do it like the Greeks of old!”

“Which ones, Hellenistic or Classical?” Jimmy asked.

“You know the ones I mean! Thgif! Thgif! Thgif!”

***

Lex strutted down the streets of Metropolis, Stayin’ Alive blasting through his iPod and the wind in his afro. No longer did he have cause to envy his father’s luscious mane, his friend Clark’s ebon tresses, or Chloe’s sassy blonde ‘do. Now, he had the power. Now, he had hair. He'd even garnered some unironic whistles from lady construction workers.

He saw Tess walking down the street and sidled up to her, running his pick through his afro one last time. “Tess, you’re looking lovely as ever. How’s business?”

“It’s… it’s so big…” She forced herself to look down at his face. “I mean, good, Ollie and I had a merger, I mean!, our companies had a merger. In bed.”

“Sounds nice. I hope he was long enough. I hear he’s cut his hair short. Some men don’t have the protein to get their hair thick and soft, with a bit of a curl.”

“Don’t torture me, Lex! Let me touch it. You don’t know how much product Ollie uses!”

“I want my company back.”

“I’ll do it!”

“And I want you to mix some colors in with Ollie’s whites so all his laundry comes out pink.”

“Anything!”

“And I want you to wear flannel again when we make love.”

“But Lex, it itches.”

“Too bad, I was going to let you put my hair in braids.”

“Damn you. Done!”

As Tess touched the magnificent burnished bronze of Lex’s afro, she thought about how silly it was that so many people were using their wishes for such frivolous uses. Her spies were reporting people becoming James Bond, Han Solo, and Xena (and Perry White really didn’t have the legs for that outfit). Why would someone want to be a pop culture icon when they could wish for money or fame or… or…

Lex looked up as a now pink-haired Tess sang boldly “Jem is truly outrageous, truly-truly-truly outrageous!”

That was when Chloe and Zatanna arrived.

“Is that Tess Mercer dressed as Jem?” Chloe asked. “Who would want to be Jem?”

“Yeah,” Zatanna answered morosely. “Who would ever want that?”

“This has gone on long enough, Zatanna, someone could get hurt!”

“You’re right. Hguone htiw eht sehsiw!

Tess stopped singing and Lex’s hair fell out.

“Hey!”

“Oh, alright, Eniagor!”

Lex grew a mullet. He patted it. “It’ll have to do. Quick, Tess, to the Lex Salon!”

“You could’ve done that all along?” Chloe asked.

“I know, I know, but it’d be wrong to put the toupee people out of business.”

“I mean undoing the wishes!”

“A girl can’t be curious?”

Chloe’s phone rang. She answered it. “Hey, it’s Davis. Why am I naked with Jimmy in a full nelson? Besides the obvious reason, I mean. Of causing him pain. And what happened to all my whipped cream, I was just at the store?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later.”

“Over dinner?”

“Why not?”

“You did the right thing!”

***

“Another crisis averted,” Chloe said, checking her hair in the mirror of a switched-off computer monitor.

“Just in time too.” Clark typed another paragraph of his article. “Someone wished for Lois to ride me like a pony. With sugar cubes when I was a good horsey.”

“People can be so perverted,” Lois said, looking around. “It’s too bad we’ll never figure out who that sicko was. Never ever. Speaking of completely unrelated subjects, Chloe! I hear you have a hot date! After all, you’ve always wanted Madmartigan to fall in love with you, ever since that story you wrote in fourth grade…”

Chloe looked up from touching up her make-up. “Hey! Princess Amber Valeria was an entirely original creation, not in any way a surrogate for me! And besides, he’s not Madmartigan anymore. The spell left absolutely no side effects.”

***

Davis felt it rising in him again. The power, the confidence, the thrill. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. With three words, he let himself transform.

“I…

“feel…

“BETTER!”