on the care and feeding of ultimate destroyers

Reccing Notes: Eheh. proactive Davis. ^-^ Chloe hardly knows what hit her. The most sensible way for things to go. You will be grinning ear to ear. Did I mention the Labyrinth references? She's got genius, I say.

by seriousfic at her lj.
2,082 words. pg-13. stiletto

As far as romantic rivals went, he wasn’t addicted to painkillers like Jimmy or ambiguously gay like Clark.

It took him a couple days of watching daytime TV in Chloe’s basement, but Davis started to come to terms with being a space monster. It was like Dr. Phil said. He had to accept the things he couldn’t change, the courage to change the things he could, and the wisdom to know the difference. Davis was pretty sure being a space monster was the first thing. And hey, he was the best space monster out there. The Ultimate Destroyer. That was worth something.

What he really needed to do was accentuate the positive. Sure, he was living in a basement, but it was Chloe’s basement. As far as romantic rivals went, he wasn’t addicted to painkillers like Jimmy or ambiguously gay like Clark. He and Chloe lived together, talked infrequently, and didn’t have sex… it was almost like a loveless marriage! And Maury had a lot to say about loveless marriages.

Well, the first step to putting the fire back in (or rather in for the first time) their relationship was to shake things up! For too long he’d let Chloe cook his food, do his laundry, and dispose of his dead bodies. It was time he helped out around the basement!

Right after Ellen. God, that woman could dance.

***

Chloe came home in a bad mood. Clark had tried to open a charity as the Red-Blue Blur and, because he was shit at delegation, he had put Jimmy in charge of the money. Jimmy had used the money to buy coke. When Chloe had tried to explain to Clark how Jimmy was a photographer/drug addict and not an accountant, Clark had only replied “Well, you were going to marry him.”

Now she had to find a way for Jerry’s Kids to get some mileage out of crack cocaine. And cook dinner for Davis, because God forbid…

Chloe stopped. Weird things were afoot at the Talon. She looked down at the hardwood floor and saw her reflection looking up at her. Then she looked at the wallpaper and was reminded that it had been blue once. She went into the kitchen to find Davis bent over, scrubbing the inside of the oven.

God, the man could bend over.

“Davis, what are you doing out of the basement?”

Davis pulled his head out of the oven. “It’s cold down there. And there are rats. Anyway, I thought that inside of sitting around all day and letting this—“ He lifted his shirt up, revealing the pistols to go with the gun show up in his arms (Chloe didn’t wonder about the Howitzer. Not at all) “—get all fat and flabby, I could help out around the house. It was either that or wonder how Natalia can stay with Frank when she belongs with Olivia.”

“Frank’s a nice guy. Or so I’ve heard.” Chloe put her scarf on the hanger, reuniting it with its four long-missing brothers. “You didn’t have to do any of this. I thought I was taking care of you.”

“You wanna take care of me, find me some more clothes. The buttons on this shirt don’t go all the way up, see?” He opened his shirt like he was posing for a Regency romance cover. “And I think these jeans are a size too small. See? I look like David Bowie in Labyrinth? Chloe?”

Chloe’s eyes were shut and she was shuddering, her lips tightly pursed. She exhaled and opened her eyes, then smiled at Davis. “I’m fine. I just… loved that movie growing up.”

“Me too. I loved Sir Didymus.”

“Yeah. He was nice too.”

“And I made dinner!” Davis went to the dining table, where he pulled a paper towel off a plate of oysters. “Oysters Rockefeller. You do like oysters, right?”

“Well, I tried them once in college…”

“You’ll love these. I think I actually got all the ingredients right?” He gave the oysters a tentative lick. “Tastes fine. You try yours?”

“I’m not sure… you seemed a little shy there.”

“Well, I guess I only have myself to blame if this goes wrong…” Davis slurped the oyster. “Mmmm. Not bad. Maybe if this whole ‘Ultimate Destroyer’ thing doesn’t work out, I can get a job as a short-order chef?”

“Have another. You deserve it.” Chloe pushed her oysters toward him.

“Don’t you want any?”

“Oh, I ate on the way home. I’ll just get some fruit. But you should eat! You need your strength! For things!”

“I guess. After all the take-out we’ve split, I suppose it’s just a little depressing to eat alone.” He slurped another oyster. “Kinda tangy.”

“You’re not alone, Davis.” Chloe grabbed a banana from the island. “See? We’re eating together. Although you should go more slowly. You don’t want to choke.”

“Yeah, I’m just so hungry. It feels like it’s been weeks since I’ve had a meal that isn’t lasagna.”

Davis slowly ate the oyster and Chloe forgot her protest about lasagna being the only thing she knew how to cook in bulk.

“Mmmm,” Davis moaned happily, eyes closed. “I love this recipe! That Rachael Ray knows her stuff.” He reached for another.

Chloe peeled the banana, watching as Davis ate another oyster to feed his insatiable appetite. “You’ve got a little… something…” she muttered.

“Really?” Davis licked his lips. “Did I get it?”

“No, you… again…”

Davis’s tongue slipped out of his mouth, traveling slowly over his lips in a languid turn. “How about now? Chloe?”

Chloe had her eyes closed and was shuddering like someone had opened a window in the dead of winter. She opened her eyes abruptly. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine.” She noticed that the banana had been squished in her hands, cream squeezing through her fingers, and dropped it in the trash. She began to lick her fingers clean. “I think I will have an oyster.”

Chloe didn’t get much sleep that night. Having to listen to Doomsday grunt and moan below her… it made her feel so guilty.

***

The next day, Chloe came home to find Davis mopping up a bloodstain. “Oh! You’re home! Chloe, this guy came by to threaten you and he started causing trouble. I already took care of the body.”

“That’s alright, Davis… oh, God, look at you! You’re covered in blood!”

“Yeah, I was about to take a long shower.” Davis picked up a sponge and began to rub it over his chest. “I’m so sorry, Chlo. Sometimes it’s like the beast inside me, it won’t take no for an answer. It just fills me with this energy, and I feel like I’ll explode if I don’t find something to do with all of it. Some strenuous physical activity to get rid of these sick urges within me. And that guy, I just couldn’t stop myself! I kept going and going and going…” He wrung out the sponge, biceps bulging. “You ever feel like that?”

“No!” Chloe said quickly. “So, you’re dead-set on a shower? Right now? Because I’m feeling kinda dirty. I mean, I fell in some mud.” She opened her coat. “See? It got everywhere.”

“I can rinse that right out.” Davis soaked the sponge in a bucket. “Once you take it off, I mean. When you’re in the shower.”

“Yes, I, um…” Chloe stepped in the bucket. “I mean, at least you were wearing your old clothes when you got splattered with fluids!” She shook the bucket off. “I’d better go take that shower now.”

“Okay, I’ll rinse off in the sink.” Davis went to the sink, where he stripped off the shirt and began dousing himself with water.

“And I’ll be in the shower if you need me… which you won’t, because you can get clean all by yourself… and I’m going to the shower.” Chloe backed up. “Shower, that’s where I’m headed. To the shower.”

“If you’re feeling stressed, I fixed the massaging showerhead for you. It just needed a few screw tightened. Chloe? Are you alright?”

Chloe opened her eyes and stopped shuddering. “Yes! I’m fine! And thanks for the fix-it work, but I don’t think I need the massaging showerhead tonight.”

“Oh, and the water heater broke, so you probably won’t be able to get warm water.”

“Cold shower’s fine!”

***

When Chloe got out of the shower, having had an organic experience with Herbal Essences, she found Davis in his boxers, ironing his wet clothes.

“Davis! Why aren’t you wearing the new clothes I got you?”

“Honestly…” Davis held up the hot pants with ‘Juicy’ printed across the back. “I just don’t think I can pull this off. Or the leather vest, I mean, what do I wear under it?”

“You’re not supposed to wear anything under it! Is what the salesman told me.” Chloe pulled her towel up a little. “Look, I’m sorry. The clothes budget is just a little tight with you eating me out of house and home!”

“Oh, I didn’t mean… sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Davis gently ushered her onto her bed, facedown. “Lie down.”

“What are you doing?” Chloe asked, having a pretty good idea what he was doing.

“Just relax and try to enjoy it. I’m new at this, so tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”

Davis opened up her towel.

“No, you’re doing fine… Yeah, make it up to me… make it up to me hard.”

Davis began rubbing her back. Chloe frowned in consternation. Foreplay? But Jimmy said that was just a myth!

Davis’s strong hands ran over every inch of her back, rolling over her shoulder blades, sloping down her sides, kneading against her ribs, and circling his thumb on the back of her neck.

“Davis… are you giving me a massage?”

“Trying to, at any rate. You seem to have a lot of tension.”

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! Chloe bit her lip and reminded herself that Davis was a serial killer destined to kill her best friend. It was bad enough she’d let him into her basement. How much worse would it be to let him into her pants… or her blouse… or her mouth… or into her pants again…

“Chloe, are you cold? You’re shaking.”

Chloe opened her eyes. “I’m fine. Go lower.”

***

“Chloe, what are you doing?”

Chloe turned around, electric screwdriver in hand, to see Davis returning from his jog, taking off his sweat-soaked windbreaker. The electric screwdriver buzzed a few times in her hand.

“Well, you see Davis, I just thought that you might turn into Doomsday while you sleep, so restraints on your bed would keep you from hurting anyone.” She pulled on a leather strap. “See? It’s very sturdy.”

“Good thinking, Chlo!” Davis picked one up and whapped it against his palm. “I can’t wait to try these out. No more waking up from dreams full of violent urges and sick impulses, wondering if I’ve committed a sin. With these, I’ll be totally restrained!” A thought furrowed his brow. “We should be careful about security, though. While I have these on, I’d be completely helpless. Anyone could do anything they like to me and all I’d be able to do was lie there, totally at their mercy. Just imagine what, say, Lex Luthor could do to me if he found me in such a state… Chloe? You alright?”

Chloe opened her eyes and stopped shuddering. “Right in the middle--! That’s it.” She grabbed Davis by the collar and pulled him down to eyelevel with her. “Davis Bloom. I want you to fuck me. Ravish me. Have your way with me. Hold absolutely nothing back. I want to be walking funny in the morning. I want to have to take a long hot bath because my muscles are sore. I want everyone to look at me and think to themselves ‘Holy shit, that girl got fucked.’ Can you go that, Davis? And can you be romantic about it? I want my sex life to be romantic for once. The only thing romantic about Jimmy was the champagne… but not the beer, or the whiskey, or the rum or the part where he kept whispering ‘ew ew ew’ under his breath. No, I want to be made love to and fucked and foreplayed and every other possible way there is to put a penis in a vagina, and then I want to start exploring alternatives in a scientifically rigorous manner. I want. To have. Orgasms.”

Davis ripped open her blouse.

Chloe closed her eyes and shuddered. “Good start.”