nature/nuture

Reccing Notes: A beast spec from Chloe's pov that I like ever so much more than the way the show handled it. There's the sense of this ticking clock in spite of the purity of both their feelings. And angst. but it hurts so good!

by wings4 music at wings_for_craft
654 words, pg-13, beast (kind of)

He’s this sedating magnet, and for once in her life Chloe Sullivan, honest to God, does not have an answer.
She had made a decision. She knew this. She hadn’t the right to regrets and look backs. She was the one to lock the door in on herself and him. Now she was in.

It is, however, getting harder to determine why she is in nowadays.

*

It takes adjustment but then…there is no adjustment necessary. He stays in the basement, she visits. She makes food, he eats it with her. She’s in danger, he saves her.

It’s not any more complicated than that.

(This lie is refuted when she needs to hold him to remind herself that at least she is alive.)

*

Clark has these eyes that make it impossible to lie without her feeling like she’s basically buying herself a one way ticket to hell.

The thing is, she’s already got her ticket, so every day it gets a little easier to lie to Clark.

This does things to her soul she refuses to acknowledge because before anything, she is Chloe Sullivan. Strong, intelligent, heart. She’s got it all. Okay well, her heart could use some work. That is all she can admit to herself without falling into a silent fit of tears.

*

His words are like magnets. (It’s his voice.)

“You can save me but you may be the only one.”

The way he talks to her, with that agonizing tone that proves his affection toward her, his truth spilling left and right (she is his only salvation, she is his everything).

Maybe it’s the inherent trust, the pleading need, the heart he’s opened to her without a fight..

He’s there and she’s there and all he has to do is ask -

“Let’s leave Smallville.”

He’s this sedating magnet, and for once in her life Chloe Sullivan, honest to God, does not have an answer.

*

The damage is done.

He kisses her or perhaps it’s the other way around, but either way, both return the kiss.

He pulls her close, and her heart feels so alive, but the shadows of his nature and the shadows of her loved ones encompass every other bit of her soul and she feels like someone else is inhibiting her body.

But she is his nurture.

And it’s a common debate: nature vs. nurture. And she makes a choice. She is his nurture.

She shakes off the creeping shadows, kisses him hard, and reaches for his skin.

His skin. Davis. He’s Davis Bloome. Paramedic. Human. He doesn’t transform into something dark with scales for skin. He’s not meant to kill her best friend. He’s not an alien.

Every second, her heart beats to this rhythm. He’s Davis. The skin burning her fingertips is that of a human, Davis.

*

He kisses her tears.

She still doesn’t know if she’s saying “goodbye” or “I’m ready”.

*

What she did say at some point is “I would do anything for you”.

Clark can judge her, and she’s going to hate herself for awhile for letting something come between herself and Clark, but Chloe is feeling. Better than anyone, Clark Kent should understand that. She is feeling something that is stronger than the chastisement her brain is instilling on her.

She made a decision. She made Davis a promise. She said the words loud and clear. And so here with tears strongly being held back, stoic face on, monotone voice stuck, she tells Clark, “Davis and I are gone. I don’t want you to find us.”

*

It’s like, Davis depends, relies, trusts in her more than anyone ever has and more than anyone could ever possibly.

Simultaneously, she still doesn’t trust him to the extent he trusts her. She has this unshakable fear that one day, they will awaken to find that Davis has become…that Davis is gone, and try as she might, Chloe will not manage to bring him back.

She recognizes what she’s done. She hopes for that day never to come (although something tells her it’s fast approaching). She aches for his hold still. Despite the fear and loss of connections, of life, she is alive with him. He’s her handhold on the last remaining piece of heart.